Doctor, ada patient nak off sheath

I was offing a femoral arterial sheath in one of my previous call for one of a middle aged indian man.  I think he was either 39 or 40 years old.  He had a coronary artery disease, admitted the day before for coronary angioplasty (PCI).  It was around 8 pm, ACT showed it's time to cramp my 3 left fingers on the man's groin to stop a bleeding.

So what to do during that 8 to 15 minutes of back breaking procedure? (and sometimes extended to 30 minutes, oh wait, once I had to do it for almost an hour because the guy just kept coughing...nevermind).

Sometimes I hummed Arishah's song...sometimes it's I love you from Barney...sometimes it's Colours of rainbow from Signing Time...sometimes the tunes from my handphone.

Sometimes I'll act like a snob and just press hard until the time is over

Most of the time...the small talk.  Or a small scare.  Or a small advice.  Or a small reminder.  Or a small warning.  Sometimes (e), all of the above.

For this 39 y.o Indian man, I started with something like...

"Uncle, okay ke?  Ada sakit dada?  Ada pening pening kapla?"
"Takda.  Okay.  Bagus."
"Ada berapa banyak block uncle?"
"Satu sajaaaa"
"Satu 'SAJA'? Aiyoo uncle, jangan macam itu.  Ada orang 3 block boleh jalan jalan tak da apa apa.  Ada orang 1 block macam uncle pun sudah mati, tak sempat datang hospital...Lepas ni mau jaga ah uncle?"

He nods.  I pressed on, looked up at the clock...alamak, baru 3 minute.

"Umur berapa uncle?  Sudah kawin?" (I'd like to remind that these questions doesn't mean what you think it means.  It's a common doctor question.)
"Sudah.  Anak ada 3, sekolah lagi."
"Ha, then kena jaga betul betul la uncle.  Itu stent boleh block lagi kalau uncle tak jaga darah tinggi, kencing manis dengan kolesterol."  I shifted my position.  "Ini perut kena pergi."  I poked.

I know, I poked!  I really did.  Just a little bit.  Well, maybe not poked, but kind of showing with my forefinger, but it touched...so...nevermind

His abdominal girth is the size and protruded in front like a 9 months old pregnant woman.  It's not enticing, most definitely, but it made me poked.

Patient tersengih.  I looked at my watch, almost 8 minutes.  Usually I checked the bleeder when 8 minutes is up.

"Uncle kena kurangkan itu minyak semua uncle.  Umur baru 40, anak kecil lagi.  Roti canai dah tak boleh makan.  Tau?"

Nod.

"Uncle kerja apa?"

"Buat roti canai"

I rest my case.